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How to Get Your Child to Listen to You the First Time
Posted: April 12, 2022
Do you have a child that just doesn’t seem to listen or pay attention to what you’re saying?
Do you have to repeat yourself 3 or more times?
No this is not normal. A child should be able to hear you and understand what you’re saying the first time.
Don’t worry you can fix this. And it’s not as hard as you might think. You will just have to form a few good habits and stick with them.
These techniques I am going to share with you are the same ones we use at our academy to get kids to listen to the instructors when they train at our martial arts school.
First, there is a difference between listening and hearing. One is engagement the other could just be sound.
We want engagement. So, the question is how do we get engagement?
Before I answer that I want to ask you a question. Have you ever taught your child how to listen and what listening is? After all it’s a skill and a skill can be taught, it can be improved, and it can even be mastered.
I often get this comment from parents at the academy, “why does my child listen to you but not me?”.
The quick answer is that I teach them how to listen and how to respond so I know they heard me before I teach anything else. I found that if a child is in a listening state, I only have to give instructions once and we can spend more time on practice and doing.
So, have you taught your child how to listen? If not, that is the first thing you need to do.
Next, you must also listen the same way you expect your child to listen.
Do these two things and you will see a change in your child very quickly. A child doesn’t want to get told repeatedly to do their chores or homework. They really don’t.
Step one.
Teach your child what you expect and how to listen.
- Make eye contact.
- Be at eye level.
- Listen completely until the speaker is done.
- Repeat the instructions in your words.
- Make a commitment to do it if that is what’s called for.
Step two.
- Make sure you are doing the above as well.
- Repeat the commitment in your words to make sure both sides understand each other.
- Once the activities are done, and if done right, thank them for their efforts.
- Repeat.
I know it sounds simple but getting down on one knee and listening to your child will teach your child how to listen as well. And not interrupting your child will also teach them not to interrupt you.
This is not that hard you just have to break some old habits and teach some new skills. I have yet to find a student that can not improve their ability to listen and do things on the first time once they know how to listen.
